For years, I wanted to plan trips or experiences. I wanted to see movies in the theatre or go see lights during the holidays. Plans could never align with friends. I work weekends, so I couldn’t do a lot with my family.
I always heard from my mom, “Why don’t you plan that when someone else can go with you?” And for a few years, I waited.
I waited. I waited so long that some experiences aren’t even available anymore. I waited so long that now my multiple sclerosis makes it more difficult for me to walk some days. I waited so long that I never got to do those things I wanted to years ago.
And then I got tired of waiting. I realized I was tired of missing out on things just because someone else was scared for me to do them alone.
I think my family’s projected anxiety about me doing things by myself seeped into my head for years, so I felt like I wasn’t allowed. I know they’re my parents, but being around them makes me feel like a child with a curfew, and I’m always afraid of how they’ll react to my plans.
It has taken me years, but I’m finally learning how to have experiences on my own if I want to. It was a learning curve for sure. I was always the shy one of my friend group, so becoming this independent adult wasn’t something I ever expected for myself. But I’m doing it.
When I took my first solo cruise this year, it really woke me up into a whole new line of thought that:
1. I can do this alone
2. I can do this while needing my rollator
3. It’s not as scary as everyone thinks it is
I want to be able to give others that independence, too. So I’m learning everything I can about anxiety, and working on creating my own group, so I can empower others to do the same. I wish I had a resource to learn when I was younger, or even someone to encourage me to branch out little by little.
If this post resonates with you — if you’re tired of waiting for the ‘right time’ or ‘right person’ — I’m building a community for those ready to create their own experiences. Join my Solo Empowerment Guide waitlist and let’s support each other in breaking free from projected fears and embracing our independence.
–Amilee
