I had a mini meltdown moments before I left for my first solo cruise.
Everything was planned and I was ready to leave, but moments before I left my parents’ house — leaving my dog for only three days — I had a rush of “Why don’t I have anyone else to do things with?” frustration. I undid my backpack, restuffed everything back inside of it, and sat down on the couch in tears.
I’ve felt this feeling plenty of times before. It’s the desire to have someone special in your life to share big moments with. This was my first cruise ever… and I was going alone. No one to take photos with or have dinner with. No one to enjoy cocktails or the ocean with.
Here’s the thing: I don’t actually WANT someone to travel with. What I want is to stop feeling like there’s something wrong with me for not wanting it.
You know how sometimes you just need to scream into a pillow, a walk-in cooler, or a void? And once you do, you feel so much better? It was like that. I didn’t have some profound realization or have someone talk me into feeling better. I just needed to let it out.
I cried for about five minutes, and then it just stopped. I stood up, grabbed my backpack, and walked out the door.
There’s a difference between loneliness and just enjoying being alone. Going solo isn’t lame — I guess it’s in our nature to want to share moments with others, but I don’t always have that desire. And that’s okay.
